You Believed In Me

Oh, Grandma
I never did get to tell you…

Things were not
talked about
in our family.
Words
always remained
unspoken –
heavy
ripe
and hanging in the
silent air –
implied.

The air
was so very
cluttered
frightening
and full.
But we knew the rules
and did not give birth
to thoughts
or feelings.

You
sometimes
broke the rules
and handed us
such precious
gems
of love.

How well I remember
the day
I came running to you,
poem in hand –
silly second grade
rhyme
that seemed so wise
to my second-grade mind.

You sat me
on your lap
out under the trees
and read each word
as if
it were
the most beautiful
you had ever read.
Very seriously
you appraised each line
(there were only four)
each rhyme…
then graciously
you handed me
the most precious
gem
of love
you could have given me.

You exclaimed
with heartfelt sincerity
that my poem
was wonderful!
And beautiful!
And that I had such talent
and should
always
keep writing…

I played by the rules.
I never told you
how much you meant
to me –
you
my only fan,
my only encouragement.
The regret
hangs
heavy
in the silent
air.

But because of you
dear Grandma
though I cannot say the words,
I pluck them
ripe
and
write them
down.

 

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