I am a member of the “Daddy Did Me” club. Not a proud member. Not at all. This is not the kind of club you want to join or about which you are happy for having earned membership. It’s the secret club to end all secret clubs. For it harbors a dirty secret. It is a dirty club.
Members, you see, have all been introduced to sex by their fathers. Learned at his penis instead of his knee. Swallowed the ejaculation of the man whose sperm brought them into being. Had his sperm swim inside of them. He, the man who was supposed to protect them from such things, was their first. Taking their virginity, often before they even knew what virginity was. Not content with the kind of sex men usually crave, these fathers prey on their own children, performing despicable and unnatural sexual acts with them, against their will. Because, you see, they are too young to have a will. To give consent. Too young to understand. Too young to process the pain and shame.
I used to think I was the only one, back when I was a kid. When “it” was happening to me. But then, I learned. The truth. It was shocking to realize there was actually a word in the dictionary for what he was doing to me. A word that seemed far too benign for something so horrible. “Incest.” Doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, considering it’s akin to getting cut into a million little pieces with a hand saw, then trampled into the dirt.
It never felt right. What he did. Though he told me he was “teaching me” for my own good, his words never felt genuine or truthful. There was too much lust and evil dripping from his naked body. His breathing wasn’t natural. Nor were his desires. I begged him to stop. Pleaded with him. But a father in the grip of his twisted, licentious, perverted desires didn’t care about natural. Natural, if he ever embraced it, was years ago and many prior evolutions before my birth.
And so, I became a member of the “Daddy Did Me” club when I was but a preschooler. That dark and covert club no one would willingly admit actually existed. The initiation shattered me.
How many little girls will be whisk into this hideous underground club where they are utterly destroyed before we stop the madness and depravity? Before we challenge those who hide beneath the cover of darkness and who wield intimidation like a bomb? Who put themselves before all others. Who use their penis like a sword, taking what they want, destroying the innocent. When will the decent people take a stand for the victim, encouraging them to come out of the nightmare where they have lived for far too many years, ushering them into the light, freeing them from their prison of shame and secrets? There have been too many victims. Too many broken souls. Too many destroyed lives.
Isn’t it time to finally plant our feet in the dirt, to expose the perversion of the sick men who play in the shadows, who eat the heart of their own child to satisfy their tainted cravings? Isn’t it time to end the shame and blame we have placed at the feet of these innocent children? Isn’t it time to finally say “no more.” No. More.