So, here I am world! I got up at 3:30 this morning (thank you, Zoe…my Miniature Schnauzer decided it was time for me to feed her) and I was…TIRED. The bad thing about getting up before the alarm goes off is that I want to eat. And then I want to throw up everything I eat. And that’s exactly what I did. Not a good way to start the day, really, but there you have it. Just another day of life with an eating disorder.
I go through periods of restricting and then I go through periods of, as they call it, binging and purging. Eating and throwing up. I’m in that mode at the moment. It’s a barrel of fun.
But…I made it to work and I’m performing to a certain level, which is, in fact, a miracle, considering. Oh, and I fed Zoe, but I made her wait until 4:30, which is when I’m SUPPOSED to get up. Don’t want her to get in the habit of waking me up early because she thinks it’s time for her food! Both of us can’t have an eating disorder!!!
For me, everything is a struggle. Depression does that to you. It makes even the simple things hard and the hard things become impossible. Getting to work every day is a struggle. Cleaning house is a struggle. Running errands is a struggle. It’s a constant battle (fighting against myself) to get the things done that need to be done. That’s my life. No wonder I’m tired…